


CMBYN: Life before Ollie

by things_that_matter



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017), Call Me By Your Name - All Media Types, Call Me by Your Name - André Aciman
Genre: Brothers, Comfort, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Drama, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Intimacy, Italy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-17 06:13:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29467059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/things_that_matter/pseuds/things_that_matter
Summary: What was life like before Elio and Oliver took in Ollie? Explores the relationship between Elio and his little brother, Ollie, before Elio took guardianship of him. Also explores the decision to take him, and introduces their different views towards children.
Relationships: Oliver/Elio Perlman
Comments: 74
Kudos: 39





	1. Being Six Is Boring

**Author's Note:**

  * For [emstrange](https://archiveofourown.org/users/emstrange/gifts).



> I have carefully avoided writing about Elio and Ollie’s relationship before Elio had guardianship of him, but recently I began exploring this. I took plenty of liberties with the “Life with Ollie” series, but have taken even more with this story. If you’ve read the second book, Find Me, you will recognize many changes. I am not putting this into the “Life with Ollie” series because it’s a prequel, and it has a different tone. Additionally, it’s longer than the other stories there.

Ollie opened his eyes and could feel a smile already on his face. For just a moment, he wondered why he was so happy. It’s not every day that a person wakes up with a smile already on their face. He sat up in his bed and looked around. His bedroom window was opened, a summer breeze was tickling his curtains. The fresh air itself seemed to be delivering to him a birthday gift, carrying the scent of apricots, peaches, pomegranates, and the other fruits that grew in his mother’s orchards. He wondered if tomorrow, when he finally turned seven, he might be able to reach the bottom branches on his own. Then he could indulge himself with a sun-warmed fruit any time he wanted, without having to ask an adult to pick it for him. His smile grew then, as he remembered one of the reasons he woke so happy. 

Tomorrow was his birthday. He would be seven years old. He was so excited. Mafalda had baked him a chocolate cake, his favorite. Several friends would be coming over for a party. There would be volleyball, swimming, food, and fun. It was hard for Ollie to believe that so many people would be gathering together just for him! Some of them would probably even bring him presents, though his parents had already taught him that presents weren’t the reason for birthday parties. 

But, the best thing about his birthday, the best thing by far, was that Elio was coming! Elio had moved to the United States when Ollie was a baby. He didn’t even remember the time when Elio lived in Italy with them. Ollie had never been sad about Elio living far away, because that’s the way it had always been. He loved Elio, though. Ollie was pretty sure that he had the best big brother in the entire world, probably in the universe but who could know for sure. The universe is so big, Ollie’s dad had told him about it. 

“Someone surely looks happy this morning,” Ollie’s mother said from the doorway. This made him smile even wider. He had the best parents in the world, as well. He laid back down, feeling his fluffy down pillow gently cradling his head. Ollie had the best pillow in the world. It had been his brother’s, when he lived here. In fact, Ollie’s room and almost everything in it had been Elio’s. He was the luckiest little boy in the world, and he knew it. 

Annella came to sit on the edge of his bed, and she ran a hand through his wavy brown hair. “You look so much like your brother,” she said. She looked both happy and sad, as she often did. 

“Daddy said it’s because I’m seven,” Ollie said. 

“Oh, I will have to talk to Daddy. You are not seven until tomorrow,” Annella smiled. Ollie didn’t get angry, because Marzia had explained to him that since he was the youngest, he would always be the baby as far as his mother was concerned. And since Elio lived so far away, Ollie was even more special to her, according to Marzia. Marzia was one of Ollie’s best friends. She was Elio’s age, but she always enjoyed spending time with Ollie. What Ollie loved most about Marzia was that she really liked him. She wasn’t simply kind to him when she came to see his parents. She actually liked him, and sometimes she came just to see him. She had promised to teach him how to swim after he turned seven, so that was another reason to be happy. 

Ollie thought life could not be more perfect. 

That night at dinner, it was a big dinner with so many friends and so much family, they had to have two tables, Ollie’s father got a phone call. At first, he told Mafalda to tell them he would call them back. They did not take calls during dinner. But Mafalda looked very worried and Ollie heard her say quietly, “It’s Elio.” 

Samuel’s face immediately changed to a look of concern, matching Mafalda’s. Ollie saw his mom look over at them, first curious and then concerned. Then she stood and followed Samuel. Marzia reached over and gently patted Ollie’s arm, and he felt better then. He took a big bite of salad and his mind wandered back to thoughts of his birthday. 

When Samuel and Annella came back, they didn’t look happy. But, when Ollie looked at them, they both smiled. Marzia saw Ollie watching his mother and father, and she was suddenly interested in his birthday party. “Ollie, are you excited about your party tomorrow?”

Ollie answered with a mouthful of salad, “Yeah I’m super duper excited!”

Marzia asked, “What part are you most excited about?” 

Ollie thought for a moment. His little eyes rotated up toward his bangs, his nose wrinkled adorably, and he twisted his mouth into a little lopsided heart shape while tapping his chin with his index finger. Marzia smiled. He reminded her so much of Elio when he did this. He reminded everyone of Elio when he did this. The two favored one another, clearly, always. But at certain times, they could be twins of different ages. When they made this face. When they were angry. When they were sad. Strangely, their happy faces were different. Elio often kept his happiness muted. He lived in a private world, and he only revealed himself piecemeal. If he was happy, you could see it in his eyes. If he was very happy, you could see it on his face, but often you had to be looking for it. Ollie, however, was an open book. His every emotion was on display at a given moment. If he was happy, then let the world know he was happy. He seemed to smile not with his mouth, not even with his eyes, or face, but with his entire body. Finally, still thinking about Marzia’s question, he answered, “Everything.” 

“Everything?” Marzia asked with a grin. Using her index finger, she pushed a curly, brown lock of hair out of Ollie’s eyes. She wondered how he could stand it always flopping down in his eyes like that. Sometimes she wondered why his parents didn’t cut it, but it wasn’t her business. They were wonderful. They were like family to her. So, if they thought his hair was fine, then it was fine with her, too. 

Ollie elaborated while chewing his fish, “Well I’m real excited about turning seven because if I didn’t turn seven I’d be six. And I’m bored of being six. I’m also real excited because...” and here he bounced a few times in his seat, making Marzia laugh, but earning a concerned look from his father who was sitting at the other end of the table. “ELIO!!!!” He finally finished, after letting the anticipation build. 

Marzia’s face lit up at this, even though she already knew. She had once loved Elio. They’d been one another’s _first_ , and Elio had broken her heart that summer. But, it had been unintentional. He cared for her, she knew. And they had remained close friends until the following year, when he left for America. 

“I’ll bet Elio is really looking forward to seeing you, too! You have a great big brother who’s willing to come all the way from the USA to Italy just to tell you happy birthday,” she gushed. 

Ollie leaned in conspiratorially and whispered, “Elio _might_ bring me a present.”

Marzia’s eyes widened, her eyebrows shot up, and she whispered in return, “That will be so nice.” 

Ollie leaned in a bit more, and whispered even more softly, “But don’t ask him because it’s not nice.”

Marzia put her finger over her lips in the universal gesture of silence. “I won’t say a word,” she whispered. 

That night, Ollie couldn’t wait to go to bed. He was not entirely unique among children, so of course he wasn’t generally a fan of bedtime. But in this case, the following day was his birthday. The following day, he would be seven. The following day, he would see his brother for the first time in nearly a year. So Ollie was eager to go to bed, only so he could wake up to the most perfect day of his entire life. 

But, as he was getting ready for bed, Samuel and Annella came into his room. It was unusual for them both to come. They looked worried, Ollie thought. And he began to feel a little bit worried, too. Such an unusual feeling for him. Ollie knew that he was lucky. He was spared from so many worries that might affect other people. He had the best parents. He had the best brother, even though he didn’t see him often. He had the best friends, even though some were grown ups like Marzia. He had the best life! As Ollie was putting on his pajamas and contemplating how lucky he was, his father sat on the edge of the bed and patted the spot beside him.

“Ollie, come sit with us for a minute. We have some bad news,” Samuel said. Ollie saw tears in his mother’s eyes, and he suddenly felt like he was going to cry. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know everything in this chapter was “the best” but it’s through the eyes of a child. It’s also to set up a contrast because Ollie’s wonderful life is soon to change.


	2. The Airport

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Ollie is occupied with thoughts of his birthday party the following day, Elio and Oliver are stuck at the airport overnight, having missed their connecting flight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter explores Oliver's perceived lack of connection toward children, and Elio's guilt over letting down his family.

Oliver was crouching, one could hardly label it _sitting_ , in the cramped airport chair. Oliver was aware of his own tallness, and he knew that the chair might be considered normal-sized to most. But as he felt the back of the chair pressing a hard line just below his shoulder blades, he was certain that he would not be able to sleep, nap, or even rest in such a contraption. Add to that the fact that Elio was a tight little knot of nervous energy, sitting in the chair beside Oliver, listening to music on his ear buds, bouncing one leg as he only did when he was particularly anxious. Oliver could feel the hum of nervous energy coming off of Elio. It was as if he were sitting next to a positively charged electron just jonesing to zap the next negatively charged person to come within reach. 

“I’m going to go get more coffee, do you want some?” Elio asked, taking out his ear buds. 

Oliver shook his head. “Elio, you know it’s 1:20 am right?” he asked gently. 

Elio gave him a look that he couldn’t quite read. It said either “Thanks, but I know how to tell time,” or possibly, “All the more reason for a cup of coffee.” 

“But have at it,” Oliver shrugged, turning his gaze back to his eyelids, which floated, along with his head, two feet above any sort of headrest. 

Though Oliver would have sworn that he wouldn’t be able to sleep in this ridiculous position, in the bright and noisy airport, he must have dozed off because he suddenly jerked awake when he heard Elio talking to him. 

“My mother told me that Ollie cried himself to sleep when they told him I wouldn’t be there for his party,” Elio said with a fresh cup of coffee steaming in his trembling hand.

Oliver rubbed his eyes, blinked a few times, and things began to come into focus for him. He reached over and rested his own hand on top of Elio’s trembling one, lending calmness, he hoped. “I’m sure he was disappointed, but this isn’t your fault,” Oliver said. 

“I know, but I hate to disappoint him. I haven’t seen him in nearly a year,” Elio sighed. 

“Once you get there, he will forget all about the disappointment,” Oliver encouraged, though truthfully, he didn’t know how Ollie would react. He had only met Ollie a few times, and never for more than a day or two. Besides, Ollie had been so smitten with Elio, he hadn’t been entirely interested in interacting with Oliver. Which, to be fair, was fine with Oliver. He’d never really liked kids. There had been Vimini, of course. They’d become friends the summer he met Elio. But, she was really the only child Oliver had befriended. And, she’d died at ten. He had a niece that he was fond of, his sister’s child, but ever since he’d told his family about his love for Elio, his relationships with them had been strained at best. He rarely saw his niece, and sometimes thought he might never see her again. He took these together as a sign that he just wasn’t meant to have children as part of his life. 

Elio simply nodded and took another sip of his coffee. Oliver felt a strong urge to reach over, place his hand on Elio’s face. Run his fingers through his hair. Lay down with him to sleep. That would be Oliver’s idea of paradise at the moment. But, he could do none of those things. Simply resting his hand on Elio’s had been a rather bold move, for Oliver anyway. 

“I think my father is angry with me,” Elio said. 

This surprised Oliver. He sat up a little straighter, opened his eyes, feeling more alert. “Why do you think so?” Oliver asked. 

“He just kept telling me how disheartened Ollie was going to be. To hear my father talk, you would think that my visit was the only reason Ollie was bothering to turn seven at all,” Elio said with a sigh. 

“I’ve never known either of your parents to be unreasonable, Elio. And this isn’t your fault,” Oliver said with the same confidence he always used when speaking. As if his words were objectively true and beyond debate. 

Elio shook his head and then took another sip of his coffee. He was thinking about his father’s next words, but he didn’t share them with Oliver, because he didn’t want Oliver to feel as guilty as he himself did. “If you could have been bothered to travel a few days prior to the party, that would have ensured that you were here. And you know, your family would love to see you for more than 18 hours one day,” Samuel had said when Elio called to let them know they missed their connecting flight and wouldn’t arrive until the wee hours of the morning. His father rarely scolded him, even when he was a child. To hear the displeasure in his voice made Elio feel like a disappointment. 

“I just can’t believe I won’t be there for his birthday party,” Elio said softly. He took another sip of his coffee, but it was already growing cold. _Like my own cruel heart,_ Elio thought. 


	3. Where There Is Life, There Is Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A glimpse into Samuel and Annella’s private thoughts about their children.

Annella had finally gotten Ollie to sleep. He had cried for at least forty minutes after learning that Elio would not be in attendance for his birthday party the following day. Samuel entered Ollie’s room to see Annella seated in a chair near the window, rocking little Ollie as she had when he was much younger. To Samuel, it was like being transported through time. It seemed only yesterday this was Elio’s room, Elio was small, and Annella would sometimes hold and rock him until he fell asleep, too. They never thought they would have another child. Never planned for one. But, the world is a strange place, and in this strange place, a person’s plans and thoughts are of no more consequence than a snowy day. One can play, and laugh, and build beautiful things, but a person has no control of the weather and soon enough, whether or not a person is ready, one’s plans can melt away. Yet this wasn’t a sad thing, but a gift. Samuel and Annella held steadfastly to the belief that when this happened, one only needed to wait for the next day. Though the beautiful ice sculpture may melt, the snowy day would be replaced by a breezy day, perfect for flying kites, or a sunny day, perfect for a walk along the shore, or perhaps a rainy day, perfect for reading a book while listening to falling rain and thunder. But if a person becomes preoccupied with the melting snow, they could very well miss the next beautiful stage of life. So, no, they had never planned for another child. But, somehow, for reasons they would never understand, they had been blessed with one anyway. And though they knew they didn’t deserve it, Ollie was perfect in every way, just as Elio was. 

Ollie was a happy child. He almost never cried, even as a baby. Even when he was hungry, sick, or tired, he was easy to please. If he ever seemed to be growing upset, it was easily mended with a hug, a kiss, or reading a favorite book. Ollie rarely played with toys. He was able to entertain himself for hours without any formal toys or games. He loved to read, look at pictures, he loved to draw, and he loved to design. He would gather sticks, leaves, rocks, and flowers from the orchards and use them to make elaborate buildings and cities. Samuel and Annella’s friends teased them from time to time concerning Ollie’s lack of toys, and many family friends had purchased toys for the deprived little boy over the years. But, anyone who spent any time with Ollie quickly realized that he preferred to play with found objects, creating his own toys. So, as Samuel watched the boy sleeping in his wife’s arms, he felt melancholic. It made him sad to see his happy youngest so distraught. And, it made him all the more sad that it was his eldest who caused it. 

Anella had been looking down at Ollie’s sleeping, tear-stained face, but she sensed Samuel’s presence, and looked toward him. She tried to smile, but her eyes showed a sorrow that echoed her husband’s. 

Samuel walked over and took the sleeping child from her. She remained seated, watching as Samuel tenderly tucked the boy in, wrapping the blankets around him snuggly. When he was satisfied that Ollie would sleep comfortably, he gestured for Anella to join him. 

“Come and kiss Ollie. Next time you see him, he will no longer be six,” Samuel whispered. He was smiling, but the smile did not reach his eyes. 

Annella returned his smile with a similar one as she walked over to the bed and perched on its edge. She closed her eyes, leaned down and kissed her youngest boy. When she rose again and opened her eyes, for a moment she would have sworn she was looking at Elio at six years old. She knew he must be so unhappy right now. He was a wonderful son and brother. They were all so proud of him. He had completed his undergraduate work, studying music, and was now well on his way to becoming a professional pianist. They encouraged him to attend graduate school as well, but Elio wanted to make the most of the momentum he was experiencing. He was young, and had a partner who supported his ambitions even if it meant travel and time apart. So, though they would have preferred an advanced degree for him, they understood that he was living his own dream. Looking at her baby, she couldn’t help but wonder what his dreams would one day be. With his love of math and design, she thought he might become an architect. With his love of words, he might become a writer. As she looked at his sleeping form, she felt as if she were observing potential in human form. He could be anything, and she could not wait to see how his life would evolve. She had no idea at that moment, but her hope to see her son’s future unfold was nothing more than melting snow after the winter storm had moved on, and no breezy day, no stormy day, in fact, no days of any kind, would follow. 


	4. The Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elio and Oliver finally arrive, but how will Ollie react to them missing his birthday?

“Elio. _Elio_ ,” Oliver called him from sleep while gently shaking his shoulder. 

Elio gradually became aware of his surroundings, the airport. After gaining his bearings, he lifted his head and rubbed his stiff neck. Then he grinned.

Oliver caught a glimpse of the smile, and smiled himself. “What?” he asked with a curious chuckle. 

“Nothing,” Elio said, shaking his head mildly. But, of course it was something. He had become aware that he slept with his head leaning against Oliver’s arm. And moreover, that Oliver had let him. 

Oliver shrugged. He could read Elio and knew what he was thinking. Not wanting to be thanked or gushed over, he simply said, “We are boarding in a few minutes. Are you ready?”

Elio was in no way ready. He was sore, hungry, and exhausted, not to mention that he felt a certain amount of trepidation about facing his family. But what else can a person say when asked this question other than, “Ready!” 

The last leg of the flight proceeded much more smoothly than the previous one. Elio transcribed music. Oliver, mercifully, caught a few hours sleep, as he was finally able to rest his head against the window, however uncomfortably. 

When the plane began to descend for its landing, Elio felt some of his uneasiness loosen its hold a bit. The guilt he was feeling began to diminish, replaced by the feeling of giddy anticipation. It had been a long time, too long, since he’d seen his family. 

Elio’s family had originally planned to pick them up from the airport, but when they realized they would be arriving overnight, Elio and Oliver insisted on renting a car instead. They’d carried on their luggage, and arranged for the rental during the extended layover. So, they were on their way soon after landing.

“Are you okay to drive?” Elio asked from the passenger’s seat. He knew Oliver probably had not slept at the airport as he himself had. 

Oliver nodded. “I slept on the plane,” he answered. “Why don’t you sleep, Elio? Ollie is going to want your undivided attention when he wakes up. I think most five year olds wake up really early, don’t they?” 

Elio chuckled, “He’s seven. Please don’t call him five to his face.” 

Oliver shook his head sheepishly. “Right. Seven.” After a long, contemplative pause he added, “He’s going to hate me.” 

Elio made a funny noise, more squawk than laugh. “He has met you before, Oliver. Several times. He likes you.” 

Oliver rolled his eyes, thieving Elio’s signature move. “He tolerates me. Only because he loves you,” he muttered.

Elio smiled. Oliver was a walking contradiction, Elio had discovered over the years. He was both confident and shy. Outgoing, but reclusive at times. Arrogant, but also insecure. Elio felt like the most fortunate person, because he was the only one who was familiar with all of the different facets that made Oliver _Oliver_. 

“What are you smiling about?” Oliver asked, offering his own hesitant smile. 

Elio reached over and took his hand. “Nothing. I just love you.” 

Oliver gave Elio’s hand a squeeze, and he too, felt fortunate. 

The next time Elio opened his eyes, they were pulling up to his own driveway. His mother and father were already coming out to greet them, smiling the tired smiles of parents who’ve been waiting up for their children, regardless how late. After greetings and hugs, they went into the house.

There was an awkward moment in which no one seemed to know what to say or do. When you haven’t seen your parents in nearly a year, it feels odd to go to bed after only talking for ten minutes. 

But, Samuel always had a gift for putting people at ease. “Boys, we put Ollie in the small room, so you’ll be in your room, Elio. Why don’t you go on up and rest? You must be exhausted,” he said. 

“What gave us away?” Oliver replied, smiling. He was already heading up the stairs. He’d been driving while Elio slept, so he desperately needed sleep. 

Elio, though, hugged his mother again. “We could have taken the small room. I feel bad for displacing Ollie from his room,” he said.

“Not at all, he was excited about it,” she said, kissing her eldest son on the cheek. She was entirely content. For a mother, there is nothing quite as nice as having all of your children at home. 

Next, Elio hugged his father. “I’m sorry we were late,” he muttered. He didn’t know what else to say. “Did the party go okay?” he asked. 

Samuel understood the implication of Elio’s question… _Is Ollie okay?_ “It went fine. You were missed, but Ollie is seven nonetheless,” he said. Samuel saw the look of regret on Elio’s face and hugged him again. “We are all just happy you’re here now,” he added. 

When Elio entered his old bedroom, the feeling of nostalgia was intense. To his surprise, Ollie had kept his room just the same as when he left it. He wondered if Ollie lacked the desire or creativity to make the room his own. Or, and this was his secret hope, perhaps Ollie chose to leave the room untouched as a way to feel closer to his brother. Elio crawled into bed next to Oliver and rolled into him. He could tell by his breathing that Oliver was already deeply asleep, but he softly kissed his shoulder anyway. He’d hoped not to wake him, but Oliver rolled over, facing him. They were back in the room where it all began. 

“Meet me at midnight,” Elio whispered breathily. He was wearing the private, sensual smile that only Oliver ever saw. 

Oliver returned his smile with an even more seductive one. “Grow up,” he whispered. 

Though they were exhausted, who could sleep? 

The next morning, Elio and Oliver were jolted into consciousness by several things occurring at once. The sun shining brightly through the open window. The smell of breakfast cooking. The voices of the household combining to form a pleasant hum. But, none of these things could be fully appreciated due to Ollie jumping on the bed around them yelling, “Elio, Elio, Elio!” 

Oliver opened one eye, looking at Elio, just to make sure he was awake. Seeing that he was, he closed his eyes thinking he might be able to sleep a bit longer. 

Elio sat up and grabbed Ollie, smiling. “Stop jumping on the bed, monkey! So unsafe,” he gently chided. Ollie didn’t care in the least. He was in his big brother’s arms, exactly where he wanted to be. “Guess what?” Ollie said, grinning slyly. 

“What?” Elio asked, straight-faced, as if the fate of the world rested on the next words.

Ollie put his mouth right next to Elio’s ear and whispered very softly, “I’m seven.” 

Elio couldn’t help but smile. “Seven?! I don’t think so. Surely not,” he teased. 

Ollie sometimes did not understand teasing, but in this case he did. He giggled and nodded. He announced it in his normal speaking voice this time. “Yes! I really am seven!!” 

Elio shook his head, a look of mock doubt on his face, “I don’t think you’re allowed to turn seven if I’m not here.” 

Ollie laughed uproariously. “You _are_ here!” he pointed out. 

Elio laughed genuinely then. His brother had grown more sophisticated in the past year, he realized. “Well, you have a point. I hereby declare you seven!” Elio felt the two small arms around his neck tighten a bit. In that moment, Elio felt completely content. He closed his eyes and kissed Ollie’s cheek. When he opened them, he saw Ollie staring at a sleeping Oliver with great interest. 

“Is he asleep?” Ollie asked, reaching over to give Oliver a little poke. Oliver didn’t respond. 

Elio nodded. He rose quietly and took Ollie’s hand. “Yes, let’s let him sleep a while.” 

Ollie looked from Elio to Oliver and back again, considering. Finally he let Elio pull him off the bed and said, “Okay.” They walked hand in hand out of the room that had been Elio’s, then Ollie’s, and was now Elio’s once again. 


	5. Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver, Elio, and little Ollie say goodbye to Samuel and Annella.

Elio had a fabulous morning with his family. As it turned out, Oliver came down shortly after he did, being unable to fall asleep again. They had a wonderful breakfast outside on the patio. Mafalda had of course made soft boiled eggs, as she did every day. Elio smiled at the look on Oliver’s face when he saw them. They were his favorite breakfast food, and although Mafalda assured them that they were not difficult to make, they never had them at home. Elio made a mental note to try to learn to make them. Cooking was not a strength of his, but he did hope to learn.

After breakfast, the next part of the morning involved Ollie leading Elio all over the house and grounds, showing him things with which Elio was already familiar. But the excitement Ollie had toward essentially everything made it all feel new and unexplored. Oliver followed along behind them, smiling at the joy they took in one another. 

“This is where we played volleyball at my party. This is the river and Marzia is going to teach me how to swim now that I’m seven,” Ollie was explaining. 

Elio’s ears perked up at this. “Marzia?” he asked. 

“Yeah she’s my best friend,” Ollie explained. 

“Marzia is your best friend?” Oliver asked. He felt embarrassed at the way Ollie jerked his head around, as if he’d completely forgotten that Oliver was there. 

“Yeah,” he answered, shrugging casually. 

Oliver found it odd that Elio’s ex-girlfriend was Ollie’s best friend, but Elio reached over and held his hand. “There aren’t a lot of kids around here. When I was Ollie’s age, Anchise was my best friend,” he said smiling. 

Oliver laughed then, a hearty, full laugh. Ollie’s expression became quite serious. His mouth became smaller, his eyes narrower. His eyebrows knit themselves together so tightly that a little patch of tension became visible between them. He did not like anyone laughing at his big brother. Nor at Anchise for that matter. 

Elio put an index finger to the tight spot between Ollie’s eyebrows and rubbed a gentle circle, causing Ollie to release his eyebrows. “So Marzia is going to teach you to swim?” Elio asked. 

Ollie smiled again at this. “Yes! Because I’m seven! When you’re seven you get to learn a lot of new things that six year olds don’t know,” Ollie informed them. 

“Like what kinds of things?” Elio asked.

“Swimming! And guess what else!?” Ollie suddenly remembered something amazing, which was evident by the fact that he was suddenly jumping up and down. 

“What?” Elio asked with a chuckle. 

“Daddy will start teaching me piano! All your dreams start coming true when you’re seven,” he added with certainty. 

Elio beamed at the news about the piano lessons. He was playing by Ollie’s age, so he hadn’t been sure if Ollie was interested in learning. His father had taught him, but he had quickly surpassed him. Elio wondered if Ollie would have his gift. 

Just then, Elio looked and saw his parents waving to them. This wasn’t a wave of greeting, but more the two-armed wave you might use to let someone know they are being chased by a dinosaur. Elio pulled Ollie closer and glanced around. Seeing no predators, prehistoric or otherwise, he said, “I think we are being summoned.” 

Ollie turned then and saw his parents waving to them. He broke into a smile that reached his entire face in a way that Elio knew his own smiles never did. Ollie’s mouth smiled, but so did his cheeks, eyes, eyebrows, and even his forehead. Before Elio could say another word, Ollie was gone, zipping toward the house to see what his parents wanted. Oliver and Elio paused and looked at one another. Oliver took Elio’s hand in his and they simply looked at one another. “You’d think he hadn’t seen them in a year,” Oliver muttered, but pleasantly. It was simply an observation. 

Elio nodded. “He has a big heart.”

“Like his brother,” Oliver said as he leaned down to kiss Elio briefly before they both turned and made their way toward the house. 

By the time they reached the house, not a far walk by any means, Ollie was already in his parents’ car, putting on his seatbelt. Their parents were clearly waiting to inform Elio and Oliver where they were going. Elio cast a curious glance toward each of his parents, then in Ollie’s direction though Ollie couldn’t see him. He was preoccupied with the seatbelt. 

“We need to run to the market for a few things,” Annella explained. “Mafalda isn’t feeling well and it will give you two some time alone to explore and reminisce.” 

Elio nodded. 

“Would you like us to go? We don’t mind at all,” Oliver offered politely. 

“Oh no, no, it is fine. We will be back within an hour,” she said smiling. 

Samuel was by now helping Ollie with his seatbelt, and Annella began making her way toward the car, too. 

After everyone was inside, Oliver happened to notice Elio’s face. He was sad. They were there for such a short time, flying out the following day. Though Oliver would have loved the time to explore their favorite places alone together, he felt compelled at the last minute to call to Annella, “Are you sure Ollie wouldn’t like to stay here with us?” Though he couldn’t hear Ollie’s voice, he knew by the sudden bouncing up and down that he was excited by the offer. Elio gave Oliver’s hand a gentle squeeze that expressed his own happiness and gratitude. 

Before Annella or Samuel could answer, Ollie was out of the car and running back toward them. Oliver couldn’t help but marvel at how much easier the seatbelt was to take off than to put on. 

The three boys stood together, waving at Samuel and Annella as they began to back down the driveway, looking happy and full of life. The joy they felt seeing their sons together, and although he would never realize it, they considered Oliver a son, too, was evident on their faces. 

As soon as the car was out of sight, Elio smiled at Ollie and Oliver. 

“So, what’s next?” he asked


	6. The Unknown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver and Elio come to grips with tragedy, and Oliver begins to think about what to do about Ollie. Trigger Warning: character deaths

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the sadness. Humor is my story-telling medium, so for me, writing this was like painting with my non-dominant hand... not easy! The good news is that things begin to look up after this chapter, and of course there are the stories in the Life with Ollie series which are much more lighthearted.  
>   
> Click here for some comic relief: [Life with Ollie](https://archiveofourown.org/series/2094873)

“When will they be back?” Ollie asked for the third time. He was standing at the window, watching the driveway, exactly as he had been doing for the last hour. 

Oliver knew he was to blame. “I’m sorry, Elio. I shouldn’t have talked him into staying. I forgot how hard it is for little kids to be away from their parents,” he apologized. He thought he was speaking softly, but Ollie whipped his head around with astonishing speed. Oliver cringed and waited for the inevitable reply. 

Ollie did not disappoint. “I’m _not_ little,” he grumbled. 

“You’re pretty small,” Oliver replied with a smile, but Ollie didn’t see the humor in it. 

Elio promptly intervened, “Ollie, I’m sure they will be back soon, just be patient.” Then to Oliver he added quietly, “You didn’t talk him into it. He wanted to stay. Besides, he’ll be fine once they get back.”

Oliver merely nodded as Elio pulled out his phone yet again. He’d been trying to reach them for almost as long as Ollie had been standing at the window. Finally, he took Oliver’s hand and led him into the adjacent room. 

“Something has to be wrong,” Elio whispered. 

Oliver hugged him, and could feel him trembling. “We don’t know that. Maybe they decided to pick up more than they planned. Maybe they decided to stop someplace else while they were out,” Oliver was attempting to comfort Elio, but he, too, felt that something was wrong. Elio would be home for less than two days. His parents wouldn’t be out sightseeing. They must have had a fender bender or something. 

Elio nodded, attempting to feel comforted, but falling hopelessly short. “I’m going to drive down and check on them,” he whispered. When Oliver didn’t reply, he added, “Do you mind keeping an eye on Ollie?”

For the longest time, neither of them spoke. Eventually Oliver replied, “Let me go. You stay here with Ollie.” 

Elio nodded again, agreeing. They both understood that the reason for Oliver’s offer had nothing to do with an unwillingness to watch Ollie, and everything to do with his innate desire to protect Elio.

In the end though, Oliver couldn’t protect him. He couldn’t shield him in the least. To his dismay, he couldn’t even comfort him, because Elio was unable to be comforted when he learned that the two people who had always loved him and supported him, had always been his biggest fans and cheerleaders, had always seen him for exactly who he was… were never coming home again. 

Later, Elio would have very little memory of that day, or the ones that followed. He would have no idea who had rebooked their return flight. He wouldn't know who planned the memorial service. He wouldn’t recall who brought the food that filled the kitchen, nor the flowers that filled the house. 

He would remember a few things though. He would always remember that Ollie slept with them that night. He’d remember holding him, and realizing that Ollie was all he had left of his parents. He would remember Marzia coming the next morning, offering to take Ollie for a few days. 

“Elio, you’re in no condition to look after him. You need to take care of yourself right now,” she had told him. And he had known she was right. Ollie needed to be comforted now by someone more nurturing than he, someone more capable. Someone better. 

“Okay,” he said. 

When he said nothing more, and made no effort to move from the bed in which he lay holding a still sleeping Ollie, Marzia said, “I’ll go up and pack a few things for him.” 

As soon as she was up the stairs, Oliver lay down behind Elio, wrapping his arms around him. Elio had his own arms wrapped around a still-sleeping Ollie, and for a moment Oliver had the strange sensation that they were a set of nesting dolls. He put his lips close to Elio’s ear and whispered, “Do you think he should stay with you right now?”

Elio shrugged, leaving Oliver feeling unsure about what to do. Elio and Ollie were so deeply in grief, they were like stars on a dark, clear night. He could see them, observe everything about them, but because they were so distant, he was unable to trust his own observations. Were they truly even present? Oliver was so consumed with the urge to comfort and protect Elio, and by extension Ollie, that he didn’t realize that he, too, was in shock. That he, too, was grieving. That he, too, was only there in part. 

Of all the things that happened that day, Oliver’s only small comfort would be the fact that he had been the one to go in search of them. He’d been the one to find the black skid marks in the curve of the road. He’d been the one to find the car. And he’d been the one to find them. It was an image that would haunt him for the rest of his life. But, each and every time the image forced its way into his thoughts and shook him to the core, he was able to take comfort in the fact that it had been him that day. He’d spared Elio that much at least, though Elio would never know it. Of course, Oliver knew none of this at the time. 

Marzia returned then with a small yellow and blue backpack containing a few items she’d gathered for Ollie. Oliver stood and moved near the door to the balcony. Marzia sat on the edge of the bed and gently touched Ollie’s face. When he woke, he immediately began to cry, just as he had been doing as he fell asleep. It was as if someone had hit the pause button, and Marzia had simply pressed play. 

She pulled Ollie up and onto her lap, though he was reaching for Elio. “Shhh it’s okay,” she soothed. Oliver watched on, feeling helpless from where he stood. He noticed that he’d taken another step back and was on the balcony now, as if trying to escape this nightmare. Unwilling to let Elio face it alone, he stepped back into the room. The room where Elio lay in shock, eyes flat. The room where Ollie cried inconsolably. The room where sweet Marzia tried everything she could to comfort a little boy who couldn’t be comforted. 

Finally he walked over and placed a hand gently on Ollie's head, “Marzia, you are so kind. Thank you. But I think Ollie should stay with Elio for now.”

Marzia’s face clearly indicated her internal conflict. She only wanted to help Ollie. And Elio, too. As she was deciding what she should do, Oliver reached down and picked up Ollie. Ollie lay his head on Oliver's shoulder and his crying began to lessen. Oliver patted his back, feeling awkward, as if he were holding something strange and entirely unfamiliar, an octopus perhaps. He locked eyes with Marzia, and she understood. They would keep Ollie with them… for now. 

The next few days were a blur. Somehow they made it through an ocean of guests, a mountain of cards and flowers, and a candlelight vigil that was at the same time both sad and lovely. Oliver had spoken at the vigil, Elio being unable to. They had met with attorneys and read the will. They had arranged for the care of the house and grounds to continue, Mafalda and Anchise would stay on. Elio was unwilling to let it, or them, go. As the time for Elio and Oliver to depart grew closer and Elio made no mention of what to do about Ollie, Oliver began to experience a great deal of anxiety. To his shock, there were no directives in the will as to who would care for the child. Since this was clearly the most important and pressing thing to deal with, Oliver expected Elio to bring it up right away, even in his grief. But he didn’t. Oliver understood that it was due to shock and grief, but still, the situation had to be settled. Simply wishing things were different couldn't make it so.

Eventually, it could wait no longer. As much as he hated to bring up something that would be painful and upsetting for Elio, he knew he had to. “We leave in less than a week,” he mentioned during breakfast. Breakfast now consisted of the three of them poking at their food, not eating. Oliver began to worry about Ollie not eating, though. Isn’t it especially important for kids? He didn’t know anything about children, but it seemed logical. He looked toward Ollie and said gently, “You need to eat something.” 

Ollie shook his head, “I’m not hungry.” 

_What to do now_ , Oliver wondered. Having no idea, he turned his attention back to Elio. “Do you think that is enough time? I can change our flight and call work if I need to,” he offered. 

Elio poked at his egg, then looked sharply away from it as if it had done something highly offensive. 

“Elio?” Oliver prompted. 

Elio looked up at him then, confused, as if he were waking up in some strange place and trying to determine where he was and how he got there. So, Oliver repeated the question and this time Elio seemed to consider it. 

“No, it’s fine. We should get back,” he mumbled, making no mention of Ollie. 

Oliver sighed. Just then, he saw Marzia walking toward them. He had always liked Marzia, but he was especially happy to see her now. He left Ollie and Elio, doubting they’d notice, and walked to greet her. “Marzia,” he said as he took the casserole dish from her and offered a quick hug. “Thank you for coming. Thank you for the food. You have been such a gift.” 

“Of course. How are they?” she asked quietly as they made their way into the kitchen to put the food away. She had been bringing food every day. 

Oliver considered the question. The truthful answer was that he didn’t know. The answer he gave, however, was, “They are doing as well as can be expected.” Which he knew wasn’t an answer at all. 

“Marzia, did you ever talk to Annella or Samuel about Ollie? About their wishes for him should anything happen to them?” he asked, still standing in the kitchen. They both looked out the window to where both brothers sat, no longer even bothering to push their food around on their plates.

“No. They never discussed it with me. I assumed Ollie would go with you,” she said simply.

Oliver was speechless. This hadn’t even occurred to him. He assumed that Ollie would stay in Italy. 

“With us?” Oliver asked, once he could form the words. 

“Of course. Elio is his brother,” she pointed out.

“Oh,” Oliver said. He continued to gaze out the window at the person he loved most in the world and his small look-alike, a person that in reality, Oliver hardly knew. “We’ll figure it out, thanks, Marzia.” 

They walked out then, and sat down. Elio looked up at Marzia and said hello only after she spoke to him. Ollie walked over and sat on her lap though.

“Ollie needs to eat his breakfast,” Oliver said. All three of them looked at him, unsure which of them he was addressing.

“I’m not hungry,” Ollie reminded him. 

“I know,” Oliver said. “But I don’t think you ate two bites yesterday.” 

“I wasn’t hungry yesterday, either,” Ollie said sensibly. 

Oliver didn’t know what to do. How could they take this tiny human to another country, away from everything and everyone he knew and loved, if they couldn’t even get him to eat. They’d bought a goldfish once, and it had survived only two weeks. How could they keep a child alive if they couldn’t even get him to eat an egg? He cast his eyes toward Elio for help, but Elio wasn’t looking at him. Elio was in no state of mind to help care for Ollie. 

There was much about which Oliver was uncertain. There was even more about which Oliver had absolutely no idea. But, there was one thing of which he was certain. They couldn’t take Ollie with them.


	7. Airport Rules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elio and Oliver finally decide what to do about Ollie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When reworking this, I was able to combine some chapters and cut some superfluous material, and I feel the story is now complete. The ending may feel abrupt, but considering the other stories, I think it’s the perfect ending. Thanks for reading, commenting, and clicking the kudu button. It has meant a lot.

Later that afternoon, Oliver felt several things at once when Elio asked, “Have you seen Ollie?” 

Initially, he felt relieved, almost happy even. It was the first time Oliver had heard Elio speak a complete sentence in a while, and he had missed his voice. However, the relief had panic right on its heels, because Oliver _hadn’t_ seen Ollie. 

“I thought he was laying down with you,” Oliver said. 

Elio shook his head, but looked far less concerned than Oliver felt. “No, he wasn’t tired. He’ll show up.” 

Oliver was dumbfounded. _He’ll show up?_

“I’m going to go look for him outside. Can you check inside?” Oliver asked. 

“Sure, but it’s fine. I’m sure he’s around,” Elio said. When he saw Oliver’s disapproving expression, he added with a smile, “He’s used to coming and going. It’s very safe here.” 

“Still, he’s a little kid and I’d feel better knowing where he is,” Oliver explained mildly as he moved toward the door. 

“Okay. I’ll have to talk to him about it. It’s going to be a big adjustment for him,” Elio said. 

Oliver felt the sting of unshed tears. He felt almost wholly relieved now. Elio was up, speaking in complete sentences, and finally acknowledging that plans must be made for Ollie. But again the relief was short-lived because Elio quickly added, “He’s never even visited the US. It may be a bit of a culture shock for him at first.”

Oliver stood staring for a moment, but finally he muttered, “Let’s just find him.”

It turned out Elio was right. Ollie wasn’t difficult to find. He was in his parents’ room, lying in their bed. “Why didn’t you answer when I called for you?” Oliver asked once they were reunited. 

Ollie shrugged. “I don’t know,” he said. 

Oliver sighed. “You scared me,” he said. 

Ollie clicked on the television. Oliver looked to Elio, but Elio seemed unconcerned. He knew they were both suffering a great loss, and he certainly didn’t wish to add to it by pressing the issue. That night, after Elio lay with Ollie until he finally fell asleep, he finally climbed into bed with Oliver. It was their first night alone together, as Ollie had been sleeping with Elio each night. Elio lay on his side, and Oliver rolled into him, wrapping his arms around him. It was a hot night, yet he held Elio tightly as if trying to warm him, threading their legs together. “I love you,” he whispered.

He thought Elio had fallen asleep, and he was about to drift off himself when Elio finally whispered softly, “Will Ollie like America?”

Oliver froze. He and Elio had always been able to talk about anything and everything. They talked about big things and small things. They talked about easy topics and difficult ones. They’d shared their hopes, dreams, and fears with one another. They’d laid themselves bare to each other from the beginning. They almost felt like a single soul in two bodies. Two bodies that they united into one as often as possible. But for all the intimacy they shared together, Oliver found it impossible to tell Elio his true feelings now. He knew that if there was ever a time to be candid, it was now. So Oliver answered, “I don’t know, Elio. I don’t know if he wold like America. And I don’t know if it would be best for him. Or for you.” _Or for me,_ he thought but did not say.

He felt Elio‘s body grow tense before he even finished his sentence. He kissed the back of Elio’s neck and lightly brushed his fingertips across his shoulder in the way he knew Elio loved. But the tension in his body did not soften. “Elio?” he prompted. 

“What are you saying?” Elio asked. Oliver could hear the bewilderment in his voice, and suddenly it made sense to him why Elio hadn’t brought up the topic. To Elio, it was a foregone conclusion that Ollie would be coming with them. 

“I’m just saying we need to talk about this. This isn’t like buying a goldfish. This is a child,” Oliver said, but he regretted the goldfish comment immediately, and even more so when he felt Elio slide away from him an inch or two. 

“You wait until now to say this?” Elio said in a crushed, muted tone. 

Oliver suddenly felt like his throat was closing. “Elio,” he tried to say, but Elio pulled farther and then further away from him, sliding all the way to the edge of the bed. Oliver felt sick. The last thing he’d ever want to do would be to hurt Elio, or even Ollie, but he had only this moment to express all of his concerns and reservations. “Elio I’m sorry. I know you’re hurting right now, but this is too important not to say. I don’t see how this could ever work. I’ve never been good with kids. I don’t understand them. I can’t even get Ollie to eat. He hasn’t eaten in two days. And I lost him today. I’m ill-equipped,” Oliver tried to explain, but he couldn’t find the words to express his concerns.

Elio suddenly turned over, facing him, and Oliver found his expression unreadable. “Again, things you should have told me days ago. What do you expect me to do!?” Elio ground out. 

“Elio, I’m sorry,” he tried to say but was interrupted. 

“Fine, you’re sorry. What good does that do me? What good does that do him?” Elio said bitterly, and Oliver wondered how things were suddenly going so wrong. 

Oliver reached for him, but grasped nothing but empty space. Elio was already out the door. 

Oliver lay awake most of the night. He eventually managed to slip into a shallow, dream-riddled sleep. In one dream, a bird landed on his shoulder. He was surprised by the bird, black and so shiny it appeared to be lacquered with oil. He was more surprised when it began gently pecking his shoulder, and more surprised still when it began saying his name. 

“Oliver? Oliver?” the bird said, but it was using Ollie’s voice. Gradually Oliver became aware that he was being woken up, not by a bird, but by a scared little boy. 

Oliver rubbed his eyes, trying to focus. “What’s wrong?” he asked. 

“Where’s Elio?” Ollie asked. 

“I’m not sure,” Oliver replied, and then he felt terrible when he saw the terror on Ollie’s face. He sat up then and placed a hand on Ollie’s head. “He’s fine. He just couldn’t sleep. It was so hot earlier,” he said. He was relieved to see that this seemed to calm the child. 

“I need him though,” Ollie said with a shaky, tearful voice, and Oliver suddenly realized the truth in those words. 

A few days later, they were at the airport. Ollie was standing at the windows, watching the planes land and take off. Elio was watching him, a smile on his face. Oliver had missed that smile. 

“Do you think he should came back over here?” Oliver asked. 

Elio looked puzzled. “Why?” he asked. 

Oliver shrugged, trying to look less anxious than he felt. “I just want to make sure we’re supervising him properly.” 

Elio chuckled. “He’s right there,” he said, gesturing. 

Oliver nodded. “Exactly. He’s over there,” he said, gesturing as well. 

They were viewing the exact same thing, but interpreting it completely differently. They had a lot of work ahead of them.

“He’s fine. He knows not to go anywhere else,” Elio said. 

Suddenly Oliver jumped up and began walking toward Ollie, and Elio cringed when he saw that Ollie was wandering away. Oliver caught up to him and gently took him by the hand, leading him back to where they were sitting. He sat, and Ollie leaned into him, looking only the tiniest bit grumpy. 

“We need to make some airport rules,” Oliver decided. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Click here to find out what happens in America! [Life with Ollie](https://archiveofourown.org/series/2094873)


End file.
